I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
Come share oat with me in your robe
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
Randomize
