He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
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