What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
Randomize
