I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Randomize
