i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
Randomize
