I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
