they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
