walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
Randomize
