I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Randomize
