dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
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