I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
