i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
Randomize
