He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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