Bisexual people are plain selfish.
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
Randomize
