But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
My brain says no but my pants say off.
bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
Randomize
