Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
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