i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
Randomize
