i think my tv is drunk
I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
My cat gives me a boner
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
Randomize
