Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
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