dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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