Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
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