Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
