sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
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