K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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