I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Randomize
