hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
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