Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
You've changed since you got that strap on
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
Randomize
