its not stalking. its research.
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Randomize
