Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Randomize
