Buhtt sex?
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
Randomize
