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• (303): View more from Colorado

  Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine

  (303): View more from Colorado

  Oh and I threw up on myself...

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• (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask

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• (936): View more from Texas

  You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.

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• (309): View more from Illinois

  I'd suck anything for a pizza right now

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• (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?

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• (613): View more from Ontario

  I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero

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• (559): View more from California

  We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying

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• (401): View more from Rhode Island

  I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...

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• (651): View more from Minnesota

  Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.

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• (505): View more from New Mexico

  She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.

  (1-506): View more from New Brunswick

  Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.

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• (917): View more from New York City

  I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.

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• (330): View more from Ohio

  ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water

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• (615): View more from Tennessee

  Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad

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• (406): View more from Montana

  I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday

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• (620): View more from Kansas

  Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?

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