whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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