She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
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