I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
Randomize
