i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
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