He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
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