He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
