He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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