And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
Randomize
