No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
Randomize
