Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
My brain says no but my pants say off.
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
Randomize
