But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
So drunk, too bad you don't want this
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
Randomize
