This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
