Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
Randomize
