You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
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