When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Randomize
