oh god the rape fog is back!
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
Randomize
