R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
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