i just had sex bonerless
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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