OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
