I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
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