So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
