ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
Randomize
