apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
