You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
He shit in the fireplace
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
Randomize
