We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
Randomize
