i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
Randomize
