why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
Randomize
